just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
