I'm so fucking centered right now
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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