I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
pop tarts are not kleenex
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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