Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
