best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
