people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
