When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
