Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
