I wish my penis had an off switch
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
