You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
