OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
