covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
