I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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