At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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