Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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