I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
