I need help removing her.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
