I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Can I color on your dick again?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
dude. I can hear the air.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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