I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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