You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
