Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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