My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
