Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
