There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
organizing the empties. That sober.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
