I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
