I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
What a fucking waste of an outfit
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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