yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
