look no pants
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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