I cockslap morals
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
