Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
A bitchslap is in order.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
