but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
