I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
