Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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