Define "chronic" masturbator.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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