i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
