Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
