Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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