I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
