i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
