i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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