I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
