that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
