We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
