Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
