We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
