cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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