I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
