he was CRYING into my vagina
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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