she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
