my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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