My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think a kid would responsible me up
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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