Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
